The Armstrong and Miller Show

A fitter of bathroom blinds works out just how to humiliate a difficult customer; a divorced dad 'bonds' with his young son in the park - but pulls no punches about the reasons why he and his mum split up. Gullible Rog returns home from work to find his wife and his best friend Pete in full bondage gear - a surprise Easter party for him, they claim; a record producer gees up his new boy band signings - but all is not as it seems. Government ads encourage those who've failed in the real world to try teaching; we learn about the origins of Art Criticism from two Neanderthals; and meet faithful football manager Tony and his overly friendly Russian boss Dimitri, who plans that they will "make fire together". And when an aggressive head chef goes a step too far in his criticisms, the kitchen staff exact the perfect, fatal revenge.

The chav pilots are saved from a firing squad by Biffy's mother who tells them not to sh*t her about; Cheery children's TV presenters make an apology to their viewers after drinking on a night out made them act in a "silly way"; The White Devil, a self-important ex-pat in Africa, roams the back roads and sets the record straight. Things get rather confusing when actors suffer accidents while reconstructing an accident - where there's blame there's a claim; Dennis Lincoln-Park visits a library to hold an ancient, priceless manuscript, with disastrous consequences. We learn about the origins of hairdressing from Neanderthals; Brabbins and Fyffe, the filthy alter-egos of Flanders and Swann, sing a jolly little song about women. A first date starts to go wrong when stalker-like tendencies come to the surface; and a bored teacher performs some special moves at the back of the school gym while the children work on, oblivious.

Featuring the return of the RAF pilots and the cavemen, and introducing two vampires at odds with the modern world.