Jungle Cruise

Jungle Cruise takes ample liberties with the legend of Lope de Aguirre in particular, and with Reality as we know it in general (and, I assume, with the attraction on which it is based; how else to explain that a seven-minute ride turns into a two hour-plus movie?). Aguirre had previously inspired Werner Herzog's Aguirre, The Wrath of God and Carlos Saura's El Dorado, searching in both for the mythical city from which the latter takes its title. In Jungle Cruise, the 16th century Spanish conquistador (Édgar Ramírez) is in search of the Tears of the Moon, a tree whose petals can cure any disease, heal any wound and lift any curse — including a kind of eternal youth, in light of which director Jaume Collet-Serra and screenwriters Glenn Ficarra, John Requa, and Michael Green should have used Ponce de León instead of Aguirre. Now, the names Herzog and Saura will surely be foreign to a person who watches Jungle Cruise willingly, in which case this hypothetical viewer will be unaware that in the two films mentioned above, the characters sail real rivers in real jungles and interact with real animals. In Jungle Cruise, Captain Frank Wolff (Dwayne Johnson) fights a tiger so phony-looking that it could be a cereal mascot (definitely not what William Blake had in mind when he spoke of "fearsome symmetry" in "The Tyger"); this scene is awkwardly choreographed and has a predetermined outcome — not unlike what Johnson used to do in WWE, except that even in the ring he was facing another being of flesh and blood, not a tiger that, like all other animals in this film, belongs to the genus computatrum generatae. Now, I’m fully aware that Aguirre, The Wrath of God, and El Dorado are dramas, while Jungle Cruise is, at least nominally, a comedy. However, I don't think this exempts it from achieving a modicum of realism; the saying 'it’s funny 'cause it’s true' is not a cliché for nothing.

Full review: https://www.tinakakadelis.com/beyond-the-cinerama-dome/2021/12/28/its-brutal-out-here-jungle-cruisenbspreview Adapted from one of the original Disneyland attractions, _Jungle Cruise_ is Disney’s attempt at another family-friendly adventure movie. It’s hard not to draw comparisons between the franchise adapted from another Disneyland attraction, Pirates of the Caribbean. However, where _Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl_ still stands as one of the finest examples of action movies 18 years after its release, _Jungle Cruise_ falters at the starting block.

To me this was great entertainment. A really nice rollercoaster of adventure with healthy dose of humour and fantasy. Dwayne Johnson is indeed one of my favourite actors these days and he makes a good performance as the somewhat crazy riverboat captain which is (a lot) more than he seems. This movie is meant to entertain and nothing else. I am quite happy that, despite it being a new Disney production, there’s really not much in terms of woke bullshit preaching in there. A little bit rubbish, especially at the end, but it’s bearable. Maybe Disney has learned the lesson as to how much that crap actually hits the bottom line. The movie is really a non-stop (almost) rollercoaster of action a ‘la Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider but with a more humorous slant to it. Some people complain about God knows what from the music score to the jokes to the camera movement to whatever. It’s a movie that are just supposed to entertain from start to finish without having to be deep, realistic or delivering some sort of message and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Rather the inverse actually. It was great to just disconnect and watch the adventure and action. As I said, Dwayne Johnson did his role nicely as the riverboat Captain, Frank Wolff, but most of the rest of the main characters was quite okay. Sure, Frank’s jokes were cringeworthy but then, they were meant to be. MacGregor Houghton was at times a bit annoying but at times quite hilarious. I quite liked when Frank threw his ridiculously large luggage overboard although it was of course quite predictable. The weakest character was probably Prince Joachim who was mostly silly. He wasn’t far out enough to be a really noteworthy crazy psychopath but not “normal” enough to be taken seriously. If I should complain about anything it would be that the manoeuvres that wreck of Frank’s performed was, well, not very realistic although it was not as bad as that “handbrake turn” the idiot script writer wrote into Battleship. That one pretty much ruined the movie. Then, there’s also no way the Amazon river is deep enough for a bloody submarine. I watched this movie with my kids and girlfriend and we all had a really good time watching it.